The Hangover
by badass-trio-lovers
Summary: One-shoot. Alcohol, Vampires, Kurda trying to get laid. Do I need to say more?


**Hello, Admin A and Admin C here! **

**Admin A: Well, some time ago Admin C told me about this story but I thought something was missing so I told her some ideas to make it better. That's why we are writing this together. Well, actually I'm writing it while Admin C is playing "Temple Run" (that lazy bit-). She's playing in MY IPod and just made a new High Score. Anyway, enjoy the story and review.**

**Admin C: That is not true! I am also helping! ¬¬ I am giving her more wonderful ideas! Please do not get scared with our story is a little bit crazy and I thought about it in a really hot day while eating jelly. Byeee! (I am following 's example. NO CONTRACTIONS.)**

**Disclaimer: We don't own the Cirque du Freak saga or any of their stories. Neither of us is Darren Shan so, sadly, we are not the creator of this awesome world of vampires! **

**Warning: This story may contain some slash parts and may sound a little weird to some of you but it's worth reading it.**

It was a silent night in the Vampire Mountain and all the vampires were getting...drunk? Kurda had started following and Darren all around the Hall of Kheldon Lurt. He was kinda stalking the young half vampire, who had to hide under a table to avoid the weird semi-gay vampire whose bleached hair scared the hell out of him.

-Leave me alone!- kept shouting the half- vampire – I'm a boy, dude! Stop it. Fuck! Mr. Crepsley, HELP ME WILL YA?

-Darren talk properly and then I may help you. – answered the master to his assistant cheerfully. Ale wasn't good for his brain and he couldn't think clearly.

Seba looked at the orange-haired vampire and shook his head. How many times would he have to tell him not to get drunk? His young days were over, but Larten kept acting like a teen. That routine kept repeating itself for about 20 minutes until Kurda figured out he could actually go under the table and join his "lover". Then he leaned over the petrified boy and tried to kiss him on the lips. Darren yelled asking for help as he tried to get away from the drunk gay. That's when something lighted up in Larten's brain and he remembered he had an assistant who was dangerously close to the weirdest vampire ever. And he stood up going to were Darren was when he heard Kurda's voice:

-Come on, sweetie. I know you want it. I'll let you touch it, you'll like it. I promise you after today you won't want another man ever. – said the blond vampire in a pussy voice.

- I- I don't even like DUDES! I like girls, Kurda. Let me go! Please, I'll give you anything. Just leave me alone! – cried the scared half vampire with tears on his eyes.

- Kurda you will have to leave my assistant. DO NOT DARE TO PUT A HAND ON DARREN!- said Larten angrily. – I LOVE HIM... – Arra gasped and looked at his ex-mate with big eyes while Darren stared at his master in shock! - ...like a son! – everyone except Kurda and Larten sighed in relieve. – Leave him or...or I will tell the princes about this! – Kurda looked wide eyed at the vampire and got a little pale; he had a plan and couldn't afford to let the princes doubt about his behavior.

Larten took his assistant by the hand and made him sit right beside him while he drank another barrel of ale all by himself. Darren started drinking too, following his master's example. Seba just looked at the young vampires and smiled sadly. They would be in trouble later, every time vampires drunk they got into trouble and it was definitely not going to end in a pretty way.

A couple hours later Larten was absolutely drunk, he was singing a modern song and grabbing Arra from the waist trying to kiss her. Arra was a little drunk too, but not enough to let Larten get her easily. Darren was sitting in the floor without shoes and trying to figure out how many fingers he had.

-Hey, Seba. Is it normal if I have ten fingers in one foot? - asked him innocently.

- Umm. Sure, Darren. It is normal - the old vampire knew better than to mess with someone when he was drunk. People could get very stubborn when they had had more than five ales. He thought drinking his tenth ale of the hour.

A few minutes later, Kurda came into the room, again. He had gone to take a nap and now seeing that Darren was drunk and vulnerable decided to pretend he was still drunk to get the little boy to come with him to his room. He knew (or thought) that once the boy saw what he was able to do in the night (day?) he would never leave him.

-Darren- mumbled the blond vampire sitting next to the boy.

- Oh, hey Kurda! Whassup? - said Darren looking at him.

-Nothing really, you? - said he softly admiring Darren's face.

-I have ten fingers on my foot. – said he cheerfully.

- Yeah, yeah. That's all great. - The boy opened his mouth to speak but Kurda put a finger on his lips.- Hey, would you like to come with me to...talk?- he asked- and do some other really dirty stuff- he added in a soft voice so the boy wouldn't hear him.

-I don't know. I'm hungry...I can't talk when I'm starving. I want food. –moaned the boy.

- Geez, stupid kid. – mumbled Kurda. – You know what Darren; I have some...emm...chocolates, yeah chocolates, in my room.

- Really? What are we waiting for! Let's go! – said Darren standing up with a big smile on his face.

Seba who was looking at this tried to stop Darren but, as he was also drunk, he let him go when the boy said he was going to eat chocolates.

-BRING ME SOME!- he shouted as Darren disappeared from the door behind Kurda.

Some time later Larten was still trying to get Arra to kiss him but Arra wouldn't let him. In fact she was so tired of Larten's behavior that she started to leave the room.

-No! Arra, wait!- said Larten when he realized his ex-mate was leaving. –We can do a threesome. Please, Arra. Let's do a threesome.

Arra started walking a little faster but not enough to leave the room. She wanted to see Larten freaked out and wondered how far he could get in this threesome thing.

Larten turned around the room looking for someone to do a threesome with. There was an ugly vampire but it was too ugly for his taste. Then it was Mika. Mika..._Neh, he wouldn't let me do anything _he thought. He looked at Seba. Seba...

-Hey Seba! - he called his master. _Oh, shit!_ thought Arra.

-What Larten? – answered the old vampire tiredly.

-Uh, never mind. You're too old. – he said and Arra sighed in relief. – You seen Darren?-

-WHAT?- yelled Arra but Larten didn't hear.´

Seba looked at them for a moment and then frowned. –Hum, I think he went with Kurda to get some chocolate. –

Both, Arra and Larten, gasped.

- And he wasn't planning to not invite me. Oh, he'll see...- said Larten.

-SHUT UP! - yelled Arra.- Seba, how long ago did Darren went with Kurda?- she added worried.

- 'Bout 20 minutes ago. -

_OH .._ Arra grabbed Larten by the hand and, as the red-haired vampire blushed, she got out of the room to search for Darren. After what seemed like hours they reached Kurda's room. The door was locked but Arra broke it down and entered the room. She looked around and saw the most horrible scene ever.

Darren was sitting in the bed his feet tied to it completely naked (Ok, that wasn't THAT horrible.) He was eating chocolate and waved at Arra when he saw her. Kurda was at the other side of the room covering his dick with chocolate.

-Ugh! WHAT THE HECK IS THAT THING! - Arra screamed.

- Good there's some chocolate. - said Larten cheerfully running towards Kurda.

Arra grabbed him from his cloak. – No, you're not eating THAT.- Larten groaned and stood next to Arra. Then he saw Darren.

-Oh, Darren. You're ready! Ok give me a second... Oh, Arra- he sang as he started to get out his pants- here's the threesome I promised you!

-What the-NO!- she answered. – Darren, get dress, NOW.-

-But...- started the boy.

-I-SAID-NOW- Arra said in a firm, strong voice. Darren didn't replied he just started searching for his boxer with his eyes. When he saw them he tried to get up but failed.

-Ugh- said Arra, walking towards Darren and untying his feet. She then grabbed the boy's boxers and threw them to where he was.

-No trio?- asked Larten innocently.

Kurda, who had put on his boxers walked towards Arra. – You CAN'T take him. He came with ME.-

-Oh, fuck you, Kurda.- she said.

-Well, I can do that. But it isn't fun at all. And my hand hurts afterwards.- he answered.

-Ugh. I didn't need that image in my mind.- she said shuddering.

Darren stood up and walked towards Arra, who grabbed his hand and then grabbed Larten. She then looked at Kurda, turned around and went out of the room.

Kurda followed her yelling about how she couldn't take Darren, how he had his penis full with chocolate and she could take a sip if Darren stayed with him. Arra pretended not to listen to him and kept walking. Darren was singing a happy song about rainbows and unicorns and Larten was telling her they could do a threesome and lock Kurda in the wardrobe while having sex.

They got to the Hall of Princes and Arra looked at the guardian.

-Open the door.- she said sharply. The three vampires were all talking and doing strange faces. – ENOUGH.- she snapped and all three of them shut up.

The door opened and the four of them got inside. Only Paris was in the Hall but Arra thought he would help her keep Kurda away from Darren.

-Hello everyone! What can I do for you?- said Paris cheerfully, weirdly cheerfully.

-Uh, Paris. Look Darren and Larten and kinda drunk and Kurda is trying to take advantage of Darren's vulnerability to get laid and Larten wants to do a threesome and..-

-Oh, that's ok! I get it! Let's see ...what if I take Darren and you and Larten can have Kurda.-

-WHAT? NO!- she yelled.- P-Paris a-are you d-drunk?-

-Oh no, Arra. I ain't drunk. I just found this amazing herbs and boy, how they make me feel.-

- Oh, c'mon! - she said exasperatedly.

-So, Darren you want some herbs?.- he asked.

-Uh? Me? Yeah why not?-

- No, Darren, NO. - said Arra.

Paris looked at her and then turned to Darren.- What about a lollypop? I have some lollypops in my room. –

- Oh, no. Not again.- said Arra taking Darren by the hand and then grabbing Larten. She get them out of the room as she could hear Kurd saying: _Ya know, Gavner's always available._ And Paris yelling he had lollypops for everyone.

She just kept on going until she got to the Hall of Perta Vin-Grahl. - I've had enough! - she mumbled and made the vampire and his assistant go inside.

-Ok, boys. It's time for a bath. - Arra said. – Let's get over with this. – she mumbled. She made Larten and Darren stand under the cold water from the Hall of Perta Vin- Grahl. Larten groaned as he got out and then sat on the floor.

-Never...again...never. – he said grabbing his head.

Darren got out stumbling. – I think I'm gonna be sick. –

-Whoa! Not on me. .No.- said Larten.

Arra just shook her head while Darren threw up just a few meters away from the orange-haired vampire. He then stumbled backward and fall onto the ground. Arra grabbed him just as he started to pass out.

-Never again.- repeated Larten.


End file.
